Chlollie Cliches
by BlueSuedeShoes
Summary: Top Ten Most Abused Lines and Ideas for a Chlollie Fic. Warning: this is bordering on being a giant author's note.
1. Chapter 1

Top Ten Most Abused Lines and Ideas for a Chlollie Fic:

10. Chloe Getting Pregnant

9. Chloe Actually Joining the League on the Field

8. Clark Suddenly and Inexplicably Being In Love With Chloe

7. Chloe Moving to Star City

6. Comparison of Oliver to Jimmy That Bashes Jimmy Unnecessarily

5. Oliver's _Abnormally_ Huge...ego

4. Chloe in a Green Dress

3. Her "Golden Hair Sprawled Out Like a Halo"

2. Green Silk Sheets

1. His "Adonis" Body

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10. I don't have a huge problem with this because it IS a fairly acceptable plot device, and recently it's been happening less and less in stories, but in the beginning there, it seemed like Chloe was popping out babies left and right in our stories. Poor woman.

9. Again, not a _huge_ problem, but we do all have to admit that it seems fairly out of character for Chloe to be breaking into the secret labs alongside the JL. It sort of defeats her purpose as Watchtower if you ask me...which none of you did, but oh well.

8. I just wish that when our writers suddenly decide that Clark is going to fall for the girl next door whose been there since he was a kid, they'd give a slightly better explanation. Poor Clark. I just want to see some lead up! What changed his mind? What made him start noticing her in a different light?

7. This one's not really that bad, it just seems to happen a lot. Similar to Baby-Maker Chloe.

6. Hi. I liked Jimmy. He was a great character, and while he was--pardon the expression--no Superman, he was very good to Chloe and cared about her a lot. What is it with all these descriptions of him as "not being worthy of touching Chloe?" and the like. I don't know. I just feel it's unnecessarily harsh.

5. Right...We know what I'm talking about. Let's be realistic, ladies. This makes me roll my eyes every time it happens.

4. I'm fine with it. Really. The girl looks good in green. She just wears A LOT of green in fanfiction. It's funny. You'd think she didn't own anything else.

3. Most overused description EVER!

2. Am I the only one who thinks Oliver having green silk sheets would be extremely tacky? Yes? No? Maybe?

1. Less abused than the halo line, technically, but makes number one on my list because it's more noticeable than the halo bit. Let's get creative. Someone compare him to Edward Cullen or something! (Oh my god, please don't. I was kidding.)

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**Haha, okay, now that I've got that off my chest, I just want to make sure no one thinks I am bashing a specific writer or story. I'm not. I'm also aware that I have probably breached a couple of my own cliches by now anyway. Mostly this was for a laugh, because, really, what fun are flaws if we can't laugh at them? Plus, I'm curious to see who agrees or disagrees with what.**

**As always, I enjoy writing for all of you, and I hope no one minds that I wrote a 'story' that's really more like one giant Author's Note.**

**BlueSuedeShoes**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Comment: Well, I was aware when I posted that list that I was technically breaking an ffn rule, although I hoped it wouldn't be a big deal. However, I have decided to make this a 'legit' posting by writing a brief satire. In order to keep this PG for everyone, I can't use ALL of the cliches (I think which ones are kind of obvious), but I'm going to do my best.**

**BlueSuede**

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Chloe rolled over onto her back, relishing the luxurious feel of the green silken sheets in Oliver's bed. She liked his room. Everything was green. Green sheets, green walls, green carpet. It was as if everything around her were green.

Oliver was the perfect lover. Everything about him was perfect. He was filthy rich and a hero, and his body--oh, his body! Unlike Jimmy--a scrawny pathetic _child_ who couldn't possibly compare to this _god_--every aspect of Oliver was like perfectly chiseled stone. His body was gorgeous, exquisite, hardened, golden, bronzed, tanned, beautiful..._perfection!_ He was like a sex god! He was...who was that man from Greek mythology? He was Aphrodite's lover...the one killed by a wild boar....

Oh yes! Adonis. Oliver Queen was like Adonis.

Oliver was stirring. He leaned over her to kiss her good morning. "Hi."

"Hi."

Oliver looked down into Chloe's emerald green eyes with his chocolate brown ones. Short though it was, her golden hair was sprawled out on the pillow like a halo. "You look beautiful."

Chloe wanted to point out that she couldn't possibly look beautiful. She _had_ to look bedraggled and gross. And she had morning breath. But if he said so....

"We should get up."

"Good plan."

Chloe giggled when he kissed her instead of getting up to get dressed. "I mean it," she pushed him off.

He got out of bed and went to his closet for clothes, pulling out a thoroughly non-green outfit. He didn't wear much green because he didn't want anyone to associate the Green Arrow's colors with him.

Chloe, on the other hand, had packed a green cotton dress for herself. It was a lazy day and she didn't have to work, so she had thought it would be a nice chance to wear the sundress Oliver had bought her a few weeks ago.

Oliver walked over and wrapped his arms around her from behind. "You look stunning in that color."

"Stunning?"

"Did I say stunning? I meant sexy as hell."

An instant later a gust of wind ruffled the green silk bed sheets. Chloe and Oliver looked up, startled to see Clark standing before them, looking thoroughly heartbroken.

"Chloe, how could you?"

Chloe stared at him in confusion. "How could I what?"

"I thought that we--well, I was mistaken. I just don't see how you could choose Oliver over me."

Chloe raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm in love with you!"

Oliver and Chloe just stared at him, totally nonplussed. "Beg pardon?"

"How could you not know that?"

Chloe shook her head. "What about Lana? Or Lois for that matter?"

"They never meant anything to me. You should have known that. After all this time..." he trailed off sadly.

"All this time of you rejecting me on a daily basis," Chloe pointed out.

"I just didn't realize what I wanted, Chloe!"

"And now you do?" she asked, still not certain what was going on.

"Well it's too late," Oliver said lowly, stepping between her and Clark. "Chloe and I are together now and you can't have her. You're too late, Clark."

Clark sent an accusation at Oliver about him not being worthy, about how he wasn't a true hero because he killed Lex, and the two men appeared ready to duke it out, but Chloe stepped between them, knowing that Clark could rip Oliver to shreds if he so chose.

"Stop it! Don't fight over me! I can't take it!" She was crying profusely and holding her stomach protectively.

Both men stared at the hand over her stomach.

"Chloe--" they both started slowly, noting the way she was over-reacting with a river of tears.

"I'm pregnant, okay! I was going to leave and change my name without telling any of you because I was so ashamed and scared, but now you know! Now you know why I have to stay with Oliver!"

Clark stood still in horror and Oliver looked excited. "Is it a boy?"

Chloe looked at him. "I don't know yet."

"I hope it's a boy."

"Does--does that mean you don't think I'm trying to trap you into marriage?"

Oliver looked blankly at her. "Why would I think that?"

Chloe opened her mouth to answer, but a breeze hit her and she realized Clark was gone. Poor Clark, after all those years of blatantly brushing off her feelings for him he had suddenly realized he was in love with her only for her to turn him down. It was kind of tragic, really.

"I think you should move to Star City with me," Oliver announced, snapping her out of her reverie.

"What?"

"You could work at the Star City Gazette. Get away from your whole life. Leave Clark and Lois and everyone else behind. You'll love it."

Chloe bit her lip, trying to hold back her happiness. It sounded to good to be true. What more could she ask than to no longer have to see her almost-a-sister cousin on a daily basis? She nodded her head in response happily. "Yes."

Oliver in all his muscular glory swept her into a scorching kiss that made her knees feeling like raspberry jelly--no, lime! because lime was green!

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**Author's Comment: There we go, I managed to work in all but numbers 9 and 5. I hope this was good for a laugh for someone. I was definitely chuckling while I wrote it.**


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